Monday, June 29, 2015

Presidential Game of Thrones

The ultimate guide to the Republican Presidential candidate field, summarized via Game of Thrones

The Republican presidential candidate industry has, thankfully, stepped in to fill the entertainment gap left by the hiatus of Game of Thrones. What better way to satisfy our collective thirst for backstabbing, vengeful, lust-filled, gratuitous misogyny than watching these relics duke it out?

Playing the part of casting director for this show….

Let’s see who’s who:



WALDER FREY 
Dumb, crude and crass; most famous for a hoard of ugly daughters; marries the pretty one off before committing treason of the highest degree, stabbing a would-be ally –an honest and intrepid soul with moral convictions and determination to rule with a fair hand- straight in the back, making him the ridicule of the land; hasn’t been around the last few seasons but a return is inevitable. 
SARAH PALIN



WHITE WALKERS 
Mysterious sorcerers from frozen wastelands; able to raise an army of millions out of dismembered and brainless dead folks simply by raising his hand; willing to mercilessly lay waste to Westeros to pursue her own, unknown, and completely hidden agenda with absolutely no regard whatsoever to the carnage she will spread to the rest of us; has really freaky eyes. 
MICHELLE BACHMAN 
SCOTT WALKER

*



STANNIS BARATHEON
Strongest claim to power is that he looks like the last guy; indignant; willing to burn his own brethren at the stake because a sexy red-head told him to; thinks he has the backing of an army, but they promptly desert him after witnessing how repugnant he is. Nevertheless forges ahead, only to be obliterated in the first battle by a much stronger –and crazier- foe. Actually killed by a blonde. Can’t wait till he’s gone. 
BEN CARSON



THE HIGH SPARROW
Claiming to be a simple servant to God/a god/some gods, his only following is a cluster of zealots outside his enclave who fill his heads with illusions of righteous supremacy. Though secretly takes pleasure in judging others, he claims to just follow a higher calling. After a recent, but assuredly brief, victory over a foe, his name will be forever synonymous with excrement. 
RICK SANTORUM



ROOSE BOLTON 
Spineless, moral-less, backstabbing, double crossing; has no qualms aligning with repugnant factions thinking it makes him more powerful, but is ultimately short sighted; fathered a bastard son who delights in torture almost as much as he does. This really could be any of the Republican candidates, but his arrogant air of superiority in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary makes one really stand out. 
TED CRUZ



HODOR 
Hulking giant with a limited vocabulary, utters only grunts that can be interpreted as “gubba”, “guns”, ‘god’, ‘gold’; unable to think for himself, strictly follows others: 
MIKE HUCKABEE



MARGAERY TYRELL 
Mostly benevolent and popular; willing to fuck anyone for power; finding out that the asexual religious zealots can’t be appeased with sexual favors, and is thrown into deep shit. 
CHRIS CHRISTIE



BRONN 
Isn't really isn’t in it to win, just likes the fame, money, and chicks that the spotlight brings. Kinda fun, will be sad when his time comes. 
RICK PERRY



JOFFREY BARATHEON 
Buffoonish clown; spent years sitting next to the throne, fantasizing about when he’ll be king, not caring that he’s really hated or that other people want it more and are working harder to get there than he does; eventually downfall met with cries of joy around the world; delights in torturing women. 
LINDSAY GRAHAM


PETYR BAELISH 
He waited in the shadows for years, thinking seven steps ahead of everyone else and making quiet back room deals to consolidate power; isn’t above the occasional murder or unholy alliance; runs whorehouses but doesn’t actually have sex. 
BOBBY JINDAL
  



BRAN STARK
One of the crazier characters, still has charisma, but his strategy is to wander into the winter wasteland and commune with some unearthly spirits, thinking it’s going to give him supernatural powers. Has to rely on Hodor for everything. Not a good sign. 
RAND PAUL




RICKON STARK
Who is this guy? Is he still in the show or even alive? Where has he been for the last few seasons? You think he’ll make a comeback? Wouldn’t be surprising if the next season, he wonders into Winterfell thinking it’s home and is ruthlessly dismembered by the Boltons. 
GEORGE PATAKI



DAENERYS TARGARYEN 
The last surviving member of a former family dynasty that has become hated across the land; self-exiled to a far-away land to quietly honed leadership skills, she thinks she can just waltz back to the motherland and seek her rightful spot on the throne and redeem her name. 
JEB BUSH





CERSEI LANNISTER
Has everything one needs to successfully rule: opulent wealth, executive experience, a certifiably bat-shit crazy kid, and unrelentless lust for power; hasn’t been through the ringer yet, and is about to get stripped naked and doused in feces while being paraded in front of the angry mobs who really hate her. She will exact her revenge with a mountainous, zombie henchmen, but it won’t be enough to prevent her eventual demise: 
CARLY FIORINA



THEON GREYJOY
Was a total asshole until he had his genitals severed and was psychologically pithed by an even bigger asshole; now is hobbling along for reasons unknown; we really can’t wait until he’s put out of his misery. 
MARCO RUBIO




 
RAMSAY BOLTON
Sadistic and torturous henchman of the ruling party, he gained a reputation for mutilating his foes, torturing his captors, and hunting down ex-lovers with wild dogs; not really in it to win, but to just further his own self-interests, like promoting his casinos and reality TV shows. 
DONALD TRUMP


And in the spirit of bipartisanship




SANSA STARK
Watched her beloved be beheaded by power-tripping egomaniacs who proceeded to drive the country into oblivion; was forced to sit on the sidelines and bide her time; whisked away from the resulting chaos and death, as staying in the capitol would have meant her demise. Now she’s been married off to a disgustingly murderous villain and has no friends, save an obsessed lesbian fan with character issues of her own. 
HILLARY CLINTON



TYRION LANNISTER
The most sensible guy in the lot, no one takes him seriously because his funny looks, excessive drunkenness, and whoremongering; came to power reluctantly despite his best interests to just get high with the hippie chicks of his far-off mountainous kingdom; ridiculed and alienated by the ruling elite, he’s been repeatedly vindicated but nonetheless still ostracized; may actually have the best interest of the people of the land at heart, now, if only people would listen to him, we might be able to get out of this nightmare alive. 
BERNIE SANDERS



HIZDAHR ZO LORAQ 
Claimed to just want to bring fighting factions together and unite the people, was rewarded for his brown nosing by marrying the queen. Who knows what his real intentions were, as he was quickly killed by his own kind. Totally pronounciable name.
JIM WEBB


 MYRCELLA BARATHEON 
Poor little girl was shipped off to a garden of eden and raised as an entitled princess, thinking all she has to return to the capitol and she’ll be crowned. We’ll see how that works out for her. 
LINCOLN CHAFEE


 
ARYA STARK
Started off as such a sweet kid, but years in hiding turned her into a ruthless assassin. Holds grudges, usually against people who deserve it. Now truly fucked up and only in it for revenge, which is sad cause she had so much promise. 
MARTIN O’MALLEY

Friday, June 26, 2015

Someone needs to do a PR campaign for Somalia with the goal of attracting conservative libertarians. 
Hate gays? So do we! 
Hate big government? No government here! 
Want to flee America because of gay marriage? We're the country for you: Somalia!

Somalia!

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Fwd: FW: fabulous rare photographs (PND)

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . . . . . . . . AMEN!

        ~  Unknown

Great photos some fabulous rare photographs

 

                                                      1.Prize fight Yankee Stadium

 

rh68

 

2. A Russian spy laughing through his execution (1939).

 

rh5

 

3. The evacuation of Saigon, in which some 45 UH-1

Hueys and one CH-47 Chinook

were pushed overboard to make room for others to land (1975).

 

rh74

 

4. The first passengers on the brand new  New York subway (1904).

 

 

rh78

 

5. Ernest Hemingway at a  Havana bar (date unknown).

 

rh72

 

6.  Princeton students after a Freshman/Sophomore snowball fight (1893)

 

.

rh27

 

7. Policemen inspect a "lumber truck" that smelled of alcohol

during prohibition (1926).

 

rh77

 

8. Archduke Franz Ferdinand with his wife on the day they are assassinated,

which contributed to the start of WWI (1914).

 

rh22

 

9. A native American watching the newly completed transcontinental railroad

in  Nevada (1868).

 

rh25

 

10. The oldest running car on the planet: the 1884 De Dion, Bouton et

Trepardou Dos-à-Dos.

 

rh36

 

11. A newly liberated French citizen happily lights Winston Churchill's

cigar (1944).

 

rh81

 

12. A  US soldier offering his hand to a woman leaving a cave

during WWII.

 

rh50

 

13. Queen Elizabeth during her WWII service.

 

rh12

 

14. A last picture of the Titanic before sinking (1912).

 

rh70

 

15. A pyramid of helmets from captured German soldiers on display

in  New York (1918).

 

rh79

 

16. Construction of Brasilia City, which would later become the

capital of  Brazil (1960).

 

rh39

 

17. Boeing 707 doing a barrel roll. When questioned about the stunt,

the test pilot said: "just selling airplanes."

 

rh18

 

18. Niels Bohr and Albert Einstein debating over quantum mechanics

(1925).

 

rh19

 

19. Fidel Castro and Malcolm X (1960).

 

rh20

 

20. 106-year-old Armenian woman protecting her home with

an AK-47 (1990).

 

rh21

 

21. Star Wars set at lunchtime.

 

rh17

 

 

22. A WWI submarine washed ashore on the beach in  England .

 

rh23

rh23-2

 

24. Execution of a German communist in  Munich (1919).

 

rh45

 

25. Muhammad Ali trying to talk down a suicidal man (1981).

 

rh65

 

 

 

26. Construction of  Mt.  Rushmore National Memorial (1939).

 

rh28

 

27. The assembly line of Porsche 911s at the  Stuttgart factory (1970)

 

rh29

 

28. American soldiers discover Manet's painting hidden in the salt mines

of Merker,

Germany (1945).

 

rh30

 

29. John Young and Charles Duke training for the Apollo 16 mission

in the  New Mexico desert.

 

rh31

 

30. A rebel soldier tosses a grenade into a loyalist position in Burgos,

Spain (1936).

 

rh73

 

31. Anne Frank pokes her head out of her family's flat in  Amsterdam (1942).

 

rh80

 

32. Archaeologist Howard Carter examining the opened sarcophagus

of King Tut.

 

rh34

 

33. Hitler inspecting the massive 800mm "Schwerer Gustav" railway gun –

the largest-caliber rifled weapon ever used in combat (1942).

 

rh35

 

34. Russian soldiers preparing for a gas attack against German positions

(1916).

 

rh55

 

35. Eyes of hate: a photo of Goebbels after finding out his photographer

is Jewish.

 

rh52

 

36. The first Wal-Mart store opened in 1962 by Sam Walton. It was called

Walton's Five and Dime.

 

rh37

 

37. The Boeing B-29 Superfortress bomber that dropped the nuclear bomb

over  Hiroshima .

 

rh38

 

38. Albert Einstein's desk photographed the day after his death.

 

rh40

 

39. B-32 Bomber Factory in  Fort Worth ,  Texas (1944).

 

rh41

 

40. The  Cologne cathedral amidst the ruins (1944).

 

rh61

 

41. A rare photo of a young Winston Churchill (1895).

 

rh51

 

42. The construction of the  Golden Gate  Bridge in  San Francisco (1937).

 

rh71

 

43. Pre-Taliban days in Afghanistan when women enjoyed professional careers,

university education, etc… By mid-90s, the Taliban outlawed employment

and education of women over the age of 8.

 

rh2

 

44. Gadget, the first atomic bomb.

 

rh46

 

45. The night they ended Prohibition (December 5, 1933).

 

rh47

 

46. German prisoners marching to  Moscow after their defeat

at  Belarus (1944).

 

rh48

 

47. Testing a bulletproof vest (1923).

 

rh54

 

48. Gas masks for babies tested at an English hospital (1940).

 

rh56

 

49. Control room of the UB-110 German submarine (1918).

 

rh57

 

50. A V-1 flying bomb "buzzbomb" plunging toward  London (1945).

 

rh58

 

51. Buzz Aldrin taking a selfie in space (1966).

 

rh53

 

52. Samuel Reshevsky, age 8, defeating several chess masters at once

in  France (1920).

 

rh60

 

 

 

53. USAAF B-25 sinks Japanese destroyer Amatsukaze off the coast of Xiamen,

China (1945).

 

rh42

 

54. An assassin attacking the socialist politician Inejiro Asanuma in Tokyo,

Japan (1960).

 

rh62

 

55. A woman who survived the  Nagasaki bombing (1945).

 

rh66

 

56. The first car factory in the  US for Ford (1926).

 

rh67

 

57. Allied forces mocking Hitler (1945).

 

rh10

 

58. A  US soldier replacing "Adolf-Hitler-Str." sign with " Roosevelt Blvd "

in  Berlin ,  Germany (1945).

 

rh11

  This is why we enjoy photographs ~ they recall History so easily ~  Enjoy!

 

.