Fake Blog of the Day: Shakira is my baby-mama

I'm not Gerard Pique, but if I was, this is what my blog would be about.

What is it like being one of the world's most popular athletes, married to one of the world's hottest I mean, best and most famous singers?

You'd be surprised to learn that our life is quite mundane. We have the same trials and tribulations as any married couple. Trying to find a decent babysitter on a Friday night. Where to spend Christmas this year, Barcelona or Bogota? And of course, the challenges of maintaining the libido of two of the world's most sexiest people.

I'll be planning here to blog about my personal life, but under the pseudonym, "Insatiable Curmugeonry". It'll allow me to share a private side and hopefully you'll see how regular things are with me and Shakiriqui.  First, I have to go to work, today against AC Milan. I tell, what about of fops! These guys certainly care too much about their hair.

Speaking of short cute kids, look how small this team is! They're so cute! I love throwing them u pin the air like I do my own child. Messi has the most delightful giggle mid-air.

Sounders Solutions 2013!

I’ve had a very long drive with nothing to think about, so I concocted the following scenario that would ensure a successful Sounders seasons in 2013:

-GIVEN that owner Joe Roth likes to throw big money around (have you seen the movies he made? Ain’t cheap to produce!)
-GIVEN that Roth wants big money in return
-HOPING that Roth is in this for long-term results
-ASSUMING that Roth wants to make a HUGE, MAJOR impact on not only North American soccer, but the global scene…

I offer this:
-Sigi is dropped.
-Montero and Alonso traded to Europe for a nice price.
-Rosales, Parke and Hurtado traded (but for not nearly as much)

In return:
Roth hires the best available coach in the world: Pep Guardiola.
Not only to coach the Sounders, but model them after the best team in the world.
To accomplish this, Pep brings over 3 products of Barcelona: Puyol, Xavi, and David Villa.

BAM!
You want to make an impact, Roth, then this is how you do it.